Firstly, I must apologize for the extremely slow updates and the lack of news. Blogging in camp can be quite challenging, I must admit. And so, today's Day 21 of year 2012, but nonethless, I'd like to look back at 2011 and give thanks for all that has happened.
- Coaching volleyball back in my primary school was quite fun, like the interaction with players gives you a lot of opportunity to share your experiences, life skills and important lessons that can't be taught within the four walls of a classroom. The sense of satisfaction when you actually see your players improve under your guidance is beyond words.
-Took up a challenge and committed 9 weeks of my time in ProjectServe and I never regretted one second of it. You meet people of the same age (or younger) who are so passionate about Christ and Kingdom work, it just shows of His great love and grace. Starting a soccer clinic in a Methodist home was a classic example of how much love our world needs. The boys needed mentors, brothers, father-like figures whom they can look up to, and I'm deeply moved every single time I'm reminded of how fortunate I am, as compared to them. It's such a joy to share God's love with them!
-A levels results wasn't that great, but nothing I can complain about.

-NS will probably take up a whole chunk of this post, because from May - Dec, I experienced a whole array of life-defining moments. It's really hard to expect for the worst, or the best, for Army. Like hearing all the stories from friends, relatives and seniors, you get a rough idea of how army is like, how it functions and all, but they are, afterall, stories. Experiencing them first-hand, however, will bring about these little little moments that will define you, for the better or worse, you decide. I would say BMT felt like a 2.4km run, a slow start due to the initial state of inertia and buffer period of transition from civilian to soldier, it gradually picks up pace nearing the middle where you train to be a combat-ready, and when you finally POP, you look back and realize it was one hell of a journey on this island called Pulau Tekong. Getting posted to SCS wasn't the most ideal scenario I wanted, but I must admit, my time in Pasir Laba Camp was the fun-est. Training was moderate yet focused, and with 70% of your BMT mates in your platoon, how can it not be fun?! However, with my sights set on crossing-over, there was a form of challenge in which I undertook. And given the odd circumstances in which I successfully crossed-over, I can only look back and thank God for scooping me up from SCS and throwing me into SAFTI MI. Transiting from a Specialist cadet to an Officer cadet brought new challenges, new standards, new people and not forgetting new fears. It's like playing the same ball game, with additional set of rules, with crazier people and stricter referees. On a side note, I really thank God for:
-My first ever grenade-throwing session
-SAR-21 live-firings and marksmanship
-All the retarded route marches, from BMT grad march, to SCS grad march, to OCS senior bar presentation to CSB 32km march. I'm not surprised if I actually grew shorter from all these marches.
-Cross-over interviews which felt like a huge grilling session
-All the IPPT and SOC tests which I would always have doubts over my capabilities, but He will assure me that "I can do everything through him who gives me strength."
-Dreaded outfield exercises and field camps

And so, 2012 is going to be an scary year. So many unknowns and uncertainties. But we can always look to Him for comfort, because He has promised that He has great plans to prosper and not to harm us.

It's funny how we try to move on and at the same time hold on. It's like holding on to a kite while trying to fly one. It does, however, sting when you know that all that has been said and done, or what is to come, will never be enough. Enough to turn the tide. To make the difference, or whatsoever. And there's only so much you can do before you stop and realize it's over. The problem is that we all hate giving up. It's a sign of weakness and nobody likes to be weak; but giving up will show that you have the strength to move on. It's letting go of something when you know it's near the end.


Trade these ashes in for beauty
And wear forgiveness like a crown
Coming to kiss the feet of mercy
I lay every burden down
At the foot of the cross

“Knowledge can last, principles can last, habits can last; but feelings come and go... But, of course, ceasing to be "in love" need not mean ceasing to love. Love in this second sense — love as distinct from "being in love" — is not merely a feeling. It is a deep unity, maintained by the will and deliberately strengthened by habit; reinforced by (in Christian marriage) the grace which both partners ask, and receive, from God... "Being in love" first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. It is on this love that the engine of marriage is run: being in love was the explosion that started it.”

― C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

“If God 'foresaw' our acts, it would be very hard to understand how we could be free not to do them. But suppose god is outside and above the Time-line... You never supposed that your actions at this moment were any less free because God knows what you are doing. Well, He know your tomorrow's actions in just the same way--because He is already in tomorrow and can simply watch you. In a sense, He does not know your action till you have done it: but the moment at which you have done it is already 'NOW' for Him.”

― C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity